My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
