I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
