How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
