Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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