It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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