Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
