your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
