All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
