Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
