Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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