Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
