Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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