Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He did a backflip because drugs
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize