Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
