all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
