Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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