There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
