When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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