You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
