Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
