I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
