Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
