New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
