she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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