It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Randomize
