last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
