It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
