i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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