is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
