It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
