ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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