My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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