I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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