Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
