My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
