Ambien. No doubt about it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
