i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize