she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize