a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
