just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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