weddingsv make me drug and hornr
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
