Your tits are I can't wait for
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
