I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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