just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
