he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you made out with another girl for some wings
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
