She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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