I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
