I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We named our party play list daddy issues
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
