I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
