ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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