I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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