careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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