Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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