I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize