"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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