But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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