Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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