yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
drinking out of a sandbucket again
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
A+ Viking dick
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