literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
