She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize