Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
