Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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