is wine microwaveable?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
