i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
