please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
