The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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