end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just saw a hot homeless man
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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