I'm going to jail i love you
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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