Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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