if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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