Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
