Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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