i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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