These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
