i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
