this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
