dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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